oddities

Science proves that AOL is like a 750-pound corpse

At the bottom of the Washington Post's article entitled

Time Warner to Spin Off AOL, Ending Ill-Fated Deal

there was, as usual, a "people who read this also read..." linkbox, which is a mechanism used to figure out articles that may be similar based on the behavior of readers.  And the most highly correlated article was:

Obese Indiana woman's body hauled away by wrecker

which describes how a 750-pound corpse, too heavy for the usual equipment, was winched up onto a flatbed truck,  covered with a carpet, and transported to the morgue.

Now that's crowdsourcing!

Taking Classes at Port o' Subs

Seen at a Carson City, Nevada strip mall:

Take classes at the strip mall!

Can you imagine taking classes between the Big 5 Sporting Goods and the Port o' Subs?  Until I saw this, I couldn't.  But wait, what does that sign in the window say?

Not just public, but also free

Well, the campus might not be the biggest, but it certainly is a better deal than all those expensive public high schools!

Best Ingredient List Ever

Here's a tasty-looking cookie:

Yum, Ginger Crunchy Cookies!

Sounds delicial!  I wonder what's in them...

Ginger-cookies-ingredients

OK, so sometimes ingredient lists on third-world food products are a bit inscrutable.  Often one suspects the makers are not quite sure what the concept is behind the list, but they know they have to include one to export it, so they just copy from some other product.  In other cases, though, the only plausible explanation is a malicious translator.  How does vegetarian ham (whatever that is) + grounded pepper (none of the flighty stuff) + fermented bean curd + shallot + chicken bullion + MSG = ginger crunchy cookie?  Or, really, anything else at all? 

Any alternate translations from Mandarin speakers?

Gain Weight Fast with Artichoke Tea

At a Chinese supermarket recently, I ran across something I hadn't had before.  So of course, I had to have it.

Artichokes!

When I was a teenager, my father directed Sam Shepard's Curse of the Starving Class, and the one thing that has really stuck with me from that play is the recurring gag in which the father has procured a refrigerator full of artichokes, and everyone in the family keeps peckishly opening the refrigerator door, exclaiming Artichokes!, and closing it.  Indeed, though I like the giant thistles, the tea admittedly tastes like what I imagine to be the flavor of the water left behind after boiling them overlong.  But a closer examination of the handy "nutrition facts" reveals a startling amount of nutritive value in these pedestrian-looking teabags:

Artichoke Tea is Surprisingly Nutritious

242 calories per serving of vaguely artichoke-like water!  Just the thing for my weight-gaining regimen.  The 56.8g of sugar is a bit disconcerting, though...

 

Of Suitcases and (Latex) Masks

In online advertising technology, there is a syndrome known as “the Samsonite problem,” which refers to an unfortunate manifestation of a shallow understanding of context.  There is a news story about a body sawn into pieces and stuffed into a suitcase.  A half-clever ad targeting algorithm sees the keyword “suitcase” and brightly displays an ad next to the story for Samsonite suitcases, possibly to an effect other than the one intended by the advertiser.

I happened to run across a Google Books excerpt from my father's book, and was looking through it when a delightful instance of the Samsonite Problem manifested. 

The Samsonite Problem Illustrated

Don't Touch that Shrink-Wrap!

The EULA Hotel

The EULA Hotel: You can opt in, but you can't opt out...

Best Restaurant Ever

The Everything Restaurant

Chinese food, donuts, teriyaki and hamburger!  I've never eaten here and probably never will, but it's my favorite restaurant nonetheless. 

Atheists for God!

21% of atheists believe in "God or a higher power."

My brain hurts.

Wishful Thinking in Street Signs

Innovation Drive

Spotted in Reno -- not much evidence, unless it's underground.

A Creative Promotion

Junk Mail

I know the picture is kind of blurry, but the content is too good not to share.  It was emblazoned on the envelope of some junk mail that arrived recently.  It says "Free Pre-Paid Cremation!"

Just what I wanted!  Does it have to be my cremation, or can I specify someone of my own choosing?